Happy birthday Matthew

As a mum I spend a fair of time saying "not now" and "no" to the kids (or "maybe, which they all know means no but I don't want the row now). And when I'm not directly denying them their wants I'm often busily trying indirectly to do so by encouraging them to stop doing things like fighting, or spending endless time in front of various screens, or eating like savages, or leaving their rooms in a state...... As our most physical child and as the one with the lowest boredom threshold at the moment Matthew is probably the main recipient of this mothering approach. So when he asked a couple of months ago if we could spend his birthday on the beach it was almost as much a treat for me as it was for him to be able to say yes. No need for any stalling "let me think about it" or "I'll need to check with dad". Just yes. And where?

Matthew wanted to return to the place we went to in October - for a child who has adapted fantastically well to his new life, new school and new friends here he really doesn't like too much change! So after a very nice Nairobi New Year's eve having friends to dinner, opening the fizz before midnight on the basis that in our international lives time zones are really irrelevant and at our age we should all be in bed soon after midnight anyway so there was no need to wait for the sake of waiting. And a very mellow New Year's day swimming and BBQing with more friends, we packed our shorts and snorkels and headed off to the coast to get the sand between our toes.



Its made for a lovely start to the year and a very nice end to a month of school holidays - we swam, snorkelled (including Katie who has only recently become a confident swimmer and declared her first proper look under the sea to be awsome), read, built sandcastles, went sea kayaking, made new friends, chased crabs on the beach, enjoyed watching the sun setting on the indian ocean, played uno, saw a few people we knew, and just had fun hanging out together. As I had done in October I occasionally looked up from a sun bed to suggest a trip out, for an ice cream or to East Africa's largest snake farm but I was always rejected in favour of more time in the pool. Jamie's record was a cool 9 hours one day, coming out only for a hasty lunch and an occasional fizzy drink with added sugar - a speciality of the pool bar and one of the attractions for the kids. With the kids very happy and occupied Tim and I were able to have a lovely dive each and Tim also decided to learn how to windsurf. But a lack of wind put paid to his final final lesson this morning and deferred it to our next visit - not that we need any excuse to come back.








For Matthew's birthday itself we thought we would start the day by going dolphin watching. The weather was ideal - the sea in the bay was flat as a pancake and it wasn't too sunny to risk frying the children on a boat trip. So we negotiated a deal (of sorts) with one of the guys on the beach and set of with a group of others to see what we could see. Matthew up front as Birthday boy.

We looked and looked, with the kids turning slowly greener as the ocean swell grew beyond the shelter of the reef. Absolutely nothing as far as the horizon. But presumably thinking their tip would be larger if they actually found dolphins, the boat crew seemed determined to press on, ignoring both Tim's suggestion that they turn back as the visibility was so good it was evident we weren't in the right place and the fact that two of the 4 kids on board were repeatedly throwing up. In the end they accepted what had been clear for some time and turned back. Just as they did a mobile phone rang to say dolphins had been seen on the other side of the bay. But by then the queasy feeling was spreading and even Matthew who prides himself on not getting travel sick had had enough so we jumped out on the beach and let the remaining adults set off for more hunting. 10 minutes later, after a restorative lemonade and swim in the pool Jamie was tucking into a second breakfast - poached eggs on toast with bacon, Katie was running off to play cards at kids club and Matthew was deep into a water polo game. 45 minutes later the boat and our former company spotted dolphins and jumped in for a swim with them. We were all really pleased they had found some and all really glad we hadn't had another 45 minutes on the sea.

After this slightly shaky start to his day Matthew had a great time. We had agreed he will get a few presents from family in the next couple of weeks rather than on his actual birthday but he was really touched when the main guy we deal with on the beach gave him a bracelet and a little girl who had become a firm friend with Katie presented him with a homemade card. He was also secretly pleased, if claiming to be mortified, that we had organised a surprise cake for him. This was presented to him after dinner by various kitchen staff processing out of the kitchen carrying a flower festooned chair for him to sit on whilst banging pans and spoons and signing to him (as appears to be the norm judging from similar displays we've witnessed). Jamie and Katie fled from the noise in embarrassment but were quickly back for the cake, which Matthew happily shared around the children in the restaurant before settling down to a card game with a group of the older children (now that he is 9).

And now its back to Nairobi and work and school and a busy couple of months for everyone before our next break. But despite an hour or so delay on our return flight (more playing of cards called for)

and rain clouds over Nairobi, I suspect it will take a few days for the sand to disappear from swimsuits, bags and between our toes and for Matthew's memories of turning 9 by the beach to fade.

Anne